i am currently watching the 3rd season of grey's anatomy , where georgie and family have to decide whether or not to pull the plug for the life support system.....i stopped there right away and my tears cant stop flowing.... at least i knew i am not a robot, as what most ppl claimed me to be.....
i was in that position 3 years ago...when the doctors asked us to decide if we wanted to put him to sleep forever......he was in pain for a few months, so doctor gave him morphine to release the pain....as time past, his need for morphine get higher and higher....until one day....he was like sleeping all the time....it was so saddening that my dad refuse to give up although all his internal organ had been damaged by the cancer cell...(his stomach, lungs, liver, backbone, colon, intestines, basically too much damaged and he is just like a timebomb) . That night, we told my mum while he is high on morphine, he wants to fight for his life, and the best we can tell him is "dont worry, everything will be OK" .
and then, 1 hr later, the doctors came up to us and ask for our decision, whether or not to increase the morphine level, to a point where he will just fall asleep and when he stop fighting to stay alive, his heart will stop.....all of us can take to see his suffering anymore and we decided to put him to sleep.....that night is the worst nite ever in my life,
His heart stop beating 5 hrs after doctor double the morphine level.......i have to stop now...my hands started to tremble...
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