Now i know how painful to love someone

It is always easier to give advice to a person and tell the person how ridiculous they are to fall for someone when situation doesnt allow you to do so.... it is so easy to tell someone "you will get over him one day" , "he is not worth your time" or "why love someone who cant love you back" .


While typing this email, i am in so much pain now. I think its just a crush but i cant seem to get over FIS, who i met in an awkward situation last saturday. I was feeling abit lonely without JP on my side last saturday, so i decided to look for some fun thru the net. I managed to arrange a 3some session that night, and i felt so lucky to be able to get the bottom who is exactly my type...small, bald, cute and nice smile. That night is just supposed to be an ordinary fuck (not mentioning its my first time for 3some (2 top, me and JU and the cute bottom FIS ) . The 3some is awkward because i fall into the 'profile picture not matching the real face' trap. The picture given by the other top is OK looking , but when the real person turned up...i went soft.


I was so turned on by FIS that i started sucking his nipple and after all of that foreplaying, i am already inside him. My unforgetable moment is when i was inside him, we looked into each others eyes and the moment is just so intimate. I am finally making love again, not just plain fuck. I cant remember when is the last time i make love. After the fuck, FIS kept asking "can i hug u" , "can i hug you again" and he will give me a tight tight hug.


Monday i was on MC and i chatted with him when whole day and also the whole nite yesterday until i spilled my milk on my keyboard. Today, i tried my best not to chat with FIS...i love JP and i am sure my feeling for FIS is just a crush, a sexual crush, due to that intimate moment.

To SC ,
I think i kind of understand your feelings now....when u tell me u liked me and all that....i tot it is so easy to get over someone until i experienced this with FIS . Anyhow, you are NOT ALLOWED to talk about this with me ..... I mean if you do....i do not want to answer....i will get over these in few days... :)

Hmmm...after typing this article....i am like over FIS....haha..so easy. Told you its just a hormones