Depressed

I am not sitting in my room, its cloudy outside, i can hear thunder. It is a bit dark and dim in my room now. I am now jobless as well, just quit my telesales job 2 days ago. Everything seems like a perfect recipe for depression.

Every aspect of my life is not doing fine. I am now 26 and my career is still unstable. i have a house, insurance and gym membership to pay. Please take note that i am not a useless person or whatsoever..well i am .. :( . I have been working in Petronas for the past 2.5 years....pay is good, bonus is great and i have all the time i want....but its just not good enough for me. I want challenge, i want something that uses my brain power (well, thats my strenght) . So, i decided to quit petronas after some arguement with my boss. So, there goes my journey into "THE REAL WORLD" outside. I am giving myself credit for taking the risk btw. Tried to apply for some IT jobs, but with a chemical engineering degree, no one is willing to give me that chance despite my strong interest. Thats when i desperately apply for my telesales job and guess what i am rocking it. I earned my big money, once in a while la, if sales is good. To cut the story short, i got tired of the whole picking up phone from 8-5 and also having bosses breathing down my neck every friday. So, thats it...I am now a househusband to bf (J).

Thats just my career. Now my appearance. Trust me when i say i am good looking. I know i am...BUT, i dun get that much attention that i wanted to have! Thats just so gay. I am so overweight, i dun dress well, i hate shaving. that really works against my confidence. I avoid making frens in the gym, i sit at one corner in the clubs, i fear the dancefloor and i am dun shop anymore.

Its been a 1 year and half since we started but i felt like we have been in a relationship for 20years with 3 kids. No more sex life, we dun chat that much anymore...I have never been so lonely and depressed in my life.

Well, it might sound weird but i say the weather has a lot to do with the tone of this blog....I will return when the day is sunny...expect lots of smiley face.